BRETT'S QUEST - THE REMATCH?
Yes, this is Brett and this is my first official Blog Post. I have goose bumps right now. In the last couple of weeks I have had a couple people ask me if there is going to be a Brett's Quest Rematch this summer. For those of you unfamiliar with the original Brett's Quest, here is the scenario (my wife posted the actual You Tube video on here a while back if you want to waste a few minutes of your life).
While watching track and field last summer, I casually mentioned to my wife that the women who ran the 400M hurdles looked pathetically slow. The winner ran it in 54 seconds, with last place taking about a minute. Sarah took no time, as usual, to put me in my place. She let me know that I, as a lazy and worthless husband would be lucky to even make it around the track. We then proceeded to intensely argue for the next 24 hours on whether or not I could run a similar time. To make a long story short.... a challenge was born. I had 60 seconds to run 400 meters, or once around the track. As a testament to Sarah's nurturing and caring spirit, she even decided to let me run without the hurdles. Of course, I had visions of myself flying around the track, barely breaking a sweat, as my wife, kids, and 4 spectators sat amazed at the ease in which I set the 400M record for a married, pasty white guy,who is more than 10 years out of high school. Sarah was also having visions, but visions of giving me CPR as she tried to revive me at the 300 M mark. What actually happened was somewhere in the middle. The following is the transcript of my thoughts as I participated in the inaugural Brett's Quest.
June 15, 2007
6:38 PM (I am at the track and minutes away from my historic performance) "Who cares that I haven't ran for two plus years and that I start to suck wind after going up one flight of stairs. I got this. I will not be denied! I will not be denied!"
6:40 PM "Why is everyone doubting me? I can gut this out for 60 seconds. How quick everyone forgets that I played golf and tennis in high school."
6:45 PM (I'm at the starting line, seconds away from history) "Am I really doing this? Maybe those women weren't slow at all and that they just looked slow on tv."
6:46:00 (Coming off the starting line) "Wow, I hope that didn't look as awkward as it felt."
6:46:04 PM (30 meters into the race) "Yea baby, I am cruising. This will be over in no time."
6:46:14 PM (100 meters into the race) "Was that my hammy? Something doesn't feel right."
6:46:22 PM (150 meters mark) "Oh s#&%! This was not the smartest thing to do."
6:46:30 PM (200 meters, half way point) "There is no way I can keep this up. Should I fake an injury?"
6:46:45 PM (275 meter mark) "I may not have to fake an injury. My heart is beats away from exploding. Just act cool, don't panic. Nobody knows how much pain you are in."
6:47:00 PM (350 meters into the race) "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! At least the hammy doesn't bother me anymore. How can I not be done yet? I swear I have been running for at least 5 minutes. Wait.... is this my first lap or my second lap?"
6:47:15 PM (Crossing the finish Line) "Did I just hear 75 seconds? I am so confused. Should I feel proud of my self or embarrassed? Who cares....I am still alive. Just play it cool and wait a few seconds until you fall uncontrollably to the ground."
6:47:30 PM (As I jog a mini victory lap while carrying a small American flag) "I feel like I just won the Olympic gold medal. If only there was another 60,000 people here and I ran about 30 seconds faster."
There you have it. The details of my first Brett's Quest experience are now out in the open. 75 seconds of pure torture. Of course, I made my wife drive the car home because I was feeling light headed and didn't want to black out on the freeway. But I survived. I am going to say it was a moral victory. So the question now is, do I try it again this summer? If I do, should I increase my life insurance policy before I run? What say ye to Brett's Quest, the Rematch?
16 comments:
You don't even have to ask for my vote, you know the answer already. I say we set the time and place and invite all your friends so you will feel like the stadium actually does have some spectators in it. Atleast you have ran a few times in the last year, unlike the last time. Always worth uping the life insurance policy, I always need more money.
Brett-
You are an amazing blogger, why you didn't do this sooner, I don't know. Please let Caiser and I know when the next 'quest' is, cause we will be there!
Wow, it was like we were there with you! (My favorite was 6:46:00) You've gotta do it again - Go Brett!!
We're there for sure! We should put a bet on it and you could make some money!! Let us know when and where and we're there!
The Kotters
So I'm sitting in class reading this post and having a hard time containing myself from laughing right out loud. I love the step-by-step process and your thoughts. I say go for it! Make sure Dan and I know when and where so we can be there this time! Go Brett!
Go Brett!
Aside to Sarah..... Make sure you have an ambulance on hand.
I say if you can't beat a GIRL, dude, you are weak!!! Maybe you should save yourself the embarassment this time.
Oh, and I read ya'lls blog all the time, but I like the way S writes better.
Ok, I'm kidding. I say you can do it in 69 seconds this year! Go, Brett, Go!
Welcome, B, welcome. You should frequent the blog more often. About the glorious race, if it turns into an annual event, when you turn 50, we can play the highlight film of all the races back to back... and see how your timing changes (I'm sure it will only go lower)... I say go for it while you can! :) And S, I agree with the ambulance idea...
Brett,
I think we would get a lot of people at the track for a reQuest. I would be there for sure. Here is a secret on how to shave at least 10 seconds of your 400m - -
Full Body Lycra
I told you I would even race you personally in your rematch. I just think you're too chicken to have your SIL who is 8 years older than you beat you hahhaha
Brett, We had company last night as I was reading your first blog and it was hysterical. They wondered what I was laughing so hard about. John even came in from the kitchen to see why I was laughing. You have to do a rematch next summer where we can be there to see if you can beat your old time. Think you can. And your pricess is absolutely beautiful - wait for those next 12 years dad. We love you all M&D
Brett...I've been dying for a redo. Set the date! I want a countdown on the blog too.
Hilarious! Go for it!
Ok I am just now reading this and DYING! If you are in lycra that would be a bonus! The Mellen's are IN Baby and I CANNOT WAIT!
PS I STILL LAUGH ABOUT THE VIDEO!
Brett: Do it again, but practice a bit this time. Dad
Post a Comment